some other reason.
September 16, 2010 § 5 Comments
Bet you’re wondering what exactly has been going on. Maybe I didn’t post because I had nothing interesting to say. What if it was because my camera cord is missing? How about both? Once getting back to school I knew I initially wanted to wait to write a post at all and just get settled in. But the other contributing factors showed themselves over time. So, sans personal photographs (besides my cell) here it is!
I tried to take a really relaxed approach my first week of classes. I sat wherever my heart desired (front row, baby!) and just took an observers role. I felt enthusiastic about sticking out the semester in each of them. I even waited a whole week to order my books (Chegg.com is the way to go. I promise it’s worth a look!) Last spring I definitely hit a rough patch loading up on too many mathematic and science based classes (neither of which are my strong subjects). This semester I’m taking it a tad bit easier and focusing on my major, getting a few more pesky general education courses out-of-the-way, and taking a few fun classes. Dance Aerobics and Intro to Nutrition, anyone? 8)
I hadn’t met my roomie before moving in but we’ve hit it off pretty well so far. She’s got a wild streak but is the most down to earth mamasita. Meet Randi.
Ooo child. One moment we’re chilling watching Gilmore Girls (our fav) and the next we’re making friends with fire fighters at a party. One of whom looked like a younger Bradley Cooper (The Hangover, A Team…) Meow. She would also like you to know two of them helped carry her back to the dorm. Thanks boys!
Speaking of boy… my favorite came to visit me last weekend.
Um…Que the filler photo?
Flashback to a rainy day last spring with Skip (nickname) and Laylah. We took his roommate’s dog to the park and she would wait at the top of the slide until one of us took her down! The little kids on the swings had a field day watching and giggling. I miss him already but am ready to tackle this semester!
running (up to 3x a week, usually less)
Dance aerobics class (2x a week)
Zumba (maybe 1x a week if I feel like)
I just started the Insanity program with a group of kids from a few dorms. Holy cow, it’s tough!
What I’ve been eating:
Yogurt, granola, fruit (oranges, apples, bananas, blueberries, strawbs…)
Oatmeal, almond butter, flat bagel thins,
Crackers, lentil soup, Primal brand “beef” jerky strips (review coming soon!),
Lots of sandwiches and salads for dinner (hummus, cheese, veggie),
Flipz chocolate pretzels, dried fruit strips, and applesauce,
Water and Diet Coke. Can’t lie.
I eat just about the same thing every day. And guess what? I’m maintaining my weight! Go figure, huh? I’ve been pretty consistent all summer. It’s a great feeling and a burdensome one as well. It’s the first time since November 2008 the scale hasn’t strictly been moving in a downward direction. Before that time I would yo-yo frequently.
In another liberating and absolutely embarrassing piece of news, I deleted my ED Myspace profile. Yes, they exist and are just as shady and dangerous as they sound. I can’t remember the exact day I activated mine. But I do know I was about fourteen years old and wanted the comfort in knowing I wasn’t the only girl my age suffering with disordered eating behaviors. What I got instead was congratulations on dropping xx amount of pounds, starving challenge requests, bombardment of thinspo pics, and lists of new fad diets to try.
Several months ago I was befriended by a fourteen year old girl. It turns out she attends the same high school I did. She suffers with anorexia and was spiraling down into a deep depression. She was the one who put things in perspective for me. I thought back to when I created the profile at age fourteen. I remember looking up to the college age girls (or… whoever was really running those profiles and claiming to be *shudder*).
Generally speaking, the “community” was just an outlet for me. It was a sneaky opportunity to read about what others were working towards, how to cut weight faster, and avoid dinners at home in high school, etc. Before I knew it I became one of the older girls with “experience”. Disgusting. I thought, I never signed onto this! I would never wish these behaviors on anybody.
But I knew I could either be a part of the problem or a part of the solution. I got in contact with her and my old psychology teacher. He was able to (with her permission) guide her to the school nurse and some helpful staff at the school. They are looking into additional outside therapy resources as well.
I can’t take back the (nearly) seven years I spent behaving the way I did. But I’d like to. I deleted it on Monday and all I can do is move forward.